The Rehabilitation of Mr James Allen

I am a huge Formula 1 fan, in a very discreet, not painting my face, not going to the pub in 4 year old team jackets with all the wrong colours and sponsors, sort of way.

I have had a strong disregard for Mr Allen since ITV took over F1 and introduced motor racing fans to football style punditry and, non-football style adverts, throughout the event.
Maybe it was those things, or maybe the automatic association with Jim "Spear Chucker" Rosenthal, that led me to believe that he was a bit of a twat.
Nowadays, the BBC present F1 coverage in the UK and James was, apparently, surplus to requirements.

Mr James Allen, please accept my apologies. Now that James has gone back to being a print journalist, and not shrieking "Gooooooooooo!" at the start of each Grand Prix, I have grown to like the old boy and his excellent blog. Well done James!

Hang on, I've just remembered that he named his son "Enzo". Silly twat.

Behind The Times

Like all miserable old buggers, I'm years behind the times - and proud of it. And tonight I saw The Fifth Element for the first time - a mere 12 years after its release. And now I don't feel miserable at all- because of a lovely young lady called Mila Jovovich. Not only is she the sort of person I would very much like to have full sexual intercourse with, she gets full marks for simply being cute as a button. Her lovely smile makes her far more attractive than any of the dodgy, fake tanned, clamydia riddled, chav slappers, favoured by the footballing elite of the UK.

Attention W.A.Gs! You don't need to be orange and have the loose skin on your chest filled with silicone in order to be beautiful. Put out that fag and learnt to speak, to read, to write.

Sorry, where was I? Oh yes. Mila. Would. Definitely.

And the film is quite good too if you are able to mentally block out Lee Evans doing his oh so hilarious impression of Norman Wisdom. And an even worse impression of an american accent. But I don't need to tell you that because, unless you are a miserable old bugger, you already saw it 12 years ago.