Product Fascism

Following on from my previous post......I am utterly sick of this product fascism that pervades the interweb.

There are two stinking beacons of this, both directed at Microsoft Inc of Redmond. The first is the Apple vs Microsoft thing and the second is the Sony vs Microsoft thing.

Why do Apple and the owners of their products feel the need to constantly belittle and berate the owners of competing products (or even non competing products)? The Apple fascista often get confused though, and direct their ire towards companies like Dell, Acer or Asus - presumably for associating with the arch foe - Microsoft...sorry "Micro$oft" (ho-ho).

The same is true of PS3 owners, though I would imagine that many of the people buying PS3s are the same people buying Macs - given that very few Macintosh owners could countenance owning a product made by The Great Satan. Having said that, Mac owners probably lean more towards the Nintendo WII - given that it shares a similar design philosophy to the products of Apple.

I am sure that the same kind of arguments ensue over every other consumer durable from cars to fridges. In fact, I know that it applies to cars because I read Jeremy Clarkson's car reviews at Times Online. Jeremy will review, for example, a Lotus Elise, or something. It is guaranteed that somewhere in the comments, some Mac owning, Roger Irrelevant will say something like "What you really need, Jeremy..." (as if he reads the comments, or listens to the advice of these twats)..."is a Mercedes S Class Kompressor. I am on my 7th and it is extremely reliable, can carry 9 children and I regularly get 143 MPG on the school run".

The only conclusions that I can draw from this is that the people who have bought the more expensive products either:

• Don't truly believe in them and need to constantly justify the outlay for their own benefit
• Are mentally challenged to the point of being unable to buy something based on rationality
• Actually believe the advertising (same as previous point, mentally weak).
  

I may post later to explain why your Apple product, made in China, with a chipset from Intel, is not technically superior, or more reliable than a Dell product, made in China, with a chipset from Intel, just because it has been put in a white plastic case.

Iphone Marketing

Attention Apple Marketing experts: notice that I wrote the word Iphone using the English language, where a real name begins with a capital letter.
I am sure the Iphone is absolutely lovely. Absolutely sure. However, I will never own one, for the same reasons that I will never own an Ipod.
These reasons, in no particular order are:

• I couldn't bear to put money in the pocket of Steve Jobs.
  
• I am fervently anti-fashion.
  
• I have cunt-lag (constantly behind the times).
  
• I couldn't bear to join the legions of the Apple fascista with their propensity for regurgitating Apple marketing sound bites as a justification for choosing their particular product. “It just works!”. Fuck off, dimwit.
  

I recently saw one of those adverts for the Iphone – you know, the ones that are all speeded up so that it looks like web pages and applications load in milliseconds and only require some incomprehensible swipe of the screen to activate? The advert concluded with something that did catch my eye – a spirit level application. Very impressive. There is just one thing though – are they seriously suggesting that any of the Iphone owning metrosexuals out there would actually know what a spirit level is, how to use it or how to actually put up some shelves?
Iphones are owned by skateboard riding students who have lived at home too long, who stay in bed till at least midday and get their mums to do all of their laundry (mostly jeans, to be strapped around the thighs just below the arsehole of the arsehole who is “wearing” them). 

Or sales representatives..... 

They belong to a generation that will never put up a shelf. Even if they ever grow up and leave home.
Shelves are erected by men called Neville, men with monochrome LCD Nokias. And correctly fitting trousers. Possibly with a bit of a gut hanging over the belt. 

The adverts would be better aimed at the parents who are actually buying the things for little "Jake". Perhaps a shot of a student, rising from his bed at midday and then looking slightly less sullen when he realises that his pathetic parents have stumped up another couple of hundred quid on something to make him fit in better with his happy slapping peers.

And he can keep his old Nokia for when he needs to take pictures, video, or send an MMS.